


Friends to Lovers

by Captain_Sparkey



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal, Best Friends to Lovers, Blow Jobs, Caution can be triggering in chapter 6, Death of a mother, Fighting, First Time, Kissing, M/M, Pretending to be straight, Secrets, Smutty, first time bottoming/topping, homphobia, kinks maybe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:24:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3972703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Sparkey/pseuds/Captain_Sparkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has to hide his love for Steve because he knows he doesn't feel the same way. It hurts but he does it because he has to, not just because he doesn't want to lose Steve as a friend but people around him wouldn't approve of his... "life style". But what happens when Steve shoots hints his way and what happens when Bucky confesses to Steve?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Friendly Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, So I've SLOWLY been writing this. I'm in senior year and need a distraction so I probably won't update this a lot due to the stress of homework and school :/ Sorry.... ._.

“You bastard!” Steve shouted. Bucky laughed. “Get owned Rogers…!” He replied to him with a smile. “YES! GET FUCKING REKT!” He shouted. “James!” Sara Rogers said from downstairs. “Watch your language please..!” She added on. “Sorry Sara..!” Bucky said. Steve snorted and snickered at him. Bucky pushed him.

They were playing Battlefield 4 and were on opposite teams. “Round 5…?” Steve asked. Bucky looked at him and all he wanted to do was kiss him. “Buck…?” He said again. Bucky shook his head, snapping out of his daze “Huh..? Oh uh... I better get goin’….” He said, standing up and putting his boots back on. He grabs his jacket as Steve stands up. As usual, Steve walks him downstairs. “Bye Sara..!” The brunette said.

“Say hello to your mother!” Sara shouted from the laundry room. Bucky nudged Steve and walked out, putting his hood up. Steve closed the door and sighed. “He still doesn’t see he doesn’t have to stay… Does he…?” Sara asked, walking out with dry washing. “He stays for Rebecca and his mom… I know I would…” Steve admitted. He watched Bucky walk down the street.

Bucky kicked a rock as the cold rain started spitting down on him. He liked the rain but knew if he walked around in it, he’d get sick and his mom would have a fit because he did. The brunette sighed as he was reaching his house. Their house was nice but not as good as Steve’s.  Bucky slept in the basement, only because he wanted to give his sister a room to herself but she’d always find her way into his bed when she was scared or couldn’t sleep.

He loved both his mother and his sister but his dad. Well if he found out who he liked and who he was fucking, he’d kill him. Bucky picked the pace up as the rain got heavier. His dad’s car wasn’t in the drive way and he was thankful. He would’ve been slammed for being at Steve’s house again.

He bolted up the stairs and onto the porch, searching for his keys. “Fuck…!” He must’ve left them at Steve’s again. Bucky knocked on the door and he could hear the footsteps of someone small. He heard his nine year old sister reaching for the door handle. The door swung open and she stood there.

“Sorry, I don’t want anything your selling” Rebecca joked. “Ha. Ha. Let me in shrimp.” Bucky replied. “Nope. You called me Shrimp…” She folded her arms and looked away. “Mom! She’s not letting me in again!” He said through the screen door. “Rikki! Let your brother in!” She called from the kitchen.

The long haired brunette opened the door and pouted at him. Bucky stared at her and picked her up. She thrashed around in his arms. “BUCKY PUT ME DOWN!” Rikki demanded. Bucky chuckled and complied to her demand. He set her down in her seat and sat next to her.

“What you doing now…?” He asked. Rebecca’s homework was spread out on the table. “Math..” She said. The brunette snorted and got up to raid the fridge. “Don’t ask me for help them.” He said. He opened the fridge only to have it closed on him again. “Out. Dinner’s cooking.” Winifred said. Bucky groaned. “Please…?! Just something to keep me good until dinner…?” He gave her those puppy eyes.

She usually says no but Winifred just laughed. “Fine. You can have a cookie but that’s it-!” She said, going to the food on the stove.  Bucky got a cookie out the jar and sneaked one to Rebecca. “So uh…. Where’s the king…?” He said, sitting next to his sister. “Don’t call him that James..” His mother said back. “Well he ACTS like he’s the fucking king…” He retaliated. Winifred hit him over the head. “Don’t swear..! And I know he does but he’s your FATHER!” Bucky stood up and started walking back to his room. “Whatever. He hates me anyway….” He finished his cookie as he walked down into his room.

He was happy to have the basement as his room because it was bigger than upstairs and he had everything he wanted in there. He flopped on his bed with a grunt and stared at his ceiling. His phone went off in his pocket. ‘Left your keys here jerk’ the text said. It made Bucky smile. ‘Bring them tomorrow punk’ he texted back. Bucky put his phone down and pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep and long sigh.

“I love you. I’ve had this massive-ass fucking crush on you and I’m fucking chicken to tell you… Is that too hard to say brain..!?” He mumbled to himself. It was more his Anxiety making him feel like if he said something, he'd be rejected. He sighed again and sat up. His mother converted the basement into a space for Bucky to hang out with Steve and his other friends. They put a bathroom there just in case something happened. Bucky got up and stripped his clothes.

He noticed that he was hard, but not as hard as he was when he was walking home. He walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. All he could think of was Steve. It was something he shouldn’t do but does. He stands under the water, imagining the blonde in there with him. Bucky leaned up against the wall and wrapped his hand around his boner, gasping softly.

His eyes were closed and the water was warm against his skin. He jerked himself off, gripping his cock tightly. The water made it feel even better. The warm water made it feel like a mouth. Made it feel like _Steve’s_ mouth. Bucky moaned softly and bit his lower lip, dragging his teeth along it. “Shit….!” He muttered quietly. He could see Steve, on his knees, looking up at the brunette and stroking his length then teasing him by slowly licking his tip. It made him even hornier.

He pictured Steve taking him in and sucking him hard. Bucky’s grip tightened around his cock and he fingered himself. He moaned his name now picturing Steve’s huge cock in his ass. He moaned softly again and his climax shot all over the wall. He took his fingers out and stroked himself as if he was riding it out.

Bucky leaned against the wall and panted. Something in him made him sick and he started crying. Bucky sunk down the wall. All he wanted was to tell him but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lose his best friend.

Steve on the other hand, was jerking himself off too. He kept finding himself thinking of Bucky and wasn’t sure why. He was sitting in the lounge room, sketching something he remembered to do for Bucky. “What are you doing honey…?” Sarah asked, leaning the back of the chair. “Bucky wants a tattoo so I was going to draw him something to get done… I don’t actually know what he wants though…” He said. “Are his parents okay with this…? He’s not even eighteen yet.” Sarah said.

She was right. “He asked Winifred and she said when he’s eighteen and his dad said he didn’t care, as usual, so…” Steve said, tapping his pencil on the page. He stretches his neck up and kisses his mother’s cheek.

Steve felt sick but he wanted to know. His stomach was in knots and he looked pale too. “You okay love…?” She asked him. “Uh….” Steve started to say. Sarah’s cold hand flew to his head to make sure he wasn’t getting sick.

“Mom… Would… Never mind…” He sunk a little lower into the chair. “Mm okay… If you don’t wanna ask.” She said and went to cook dinner. The blonde boy swallowed hard. “Would you care if I liked a guy….?” He said quickly. He had a feeling that him thinking about Bucky wasn’t just ‘nothing’.

Sarah turned around on her heels and looked at him from where she was standing. He was paler than before. She walked over to him and grabbed his chin, making him look at her. “No… I wouldn’t.. You can love whoever makes you feel special. Don’t let anyone else say otherwise.. Okay…?” She looked into his blue eyes. He felt like crying because he knew.

She knew with every look at Bucky that he was Gay or at least Bisexual. A mother always knows. “I love you…” She said and kissed his forehead for a long time then kissed his nose. “I love you too….” He said as she kissed his head. He smiled when she kissed his nose. “Ha, ha. Lipstick.” She smiled and giggled. Steve wiped it off with a groan. “Mom-!” He whined.


	2. Bruised but not broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The part where Bucky's bruised but not broken. Pretty much, Bucky gets into a fight and a certain best friend comes back :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY THIS IS LATE!  
> I'm in Senior year and it's highly stressful! But here it is :D

The next day, Steve walked down the hall and to his locker. He breathed out slowly. He opened his locker and took out his books. He smiled at the back of his locker. He stuck a picture of him, Nat, Bucky and Sam when they were in middle school. Sam’s dad was in the military so they moved a lot. They haven’t seen him for years. The blonde snapped out of his daze when he heard Bucky’s locker open.

He closed his and saw that Bucky had a baseball cap on with his hoodie pulled over his head. “What happened this time…?” Steve asked, leaning against his lockers with his books in one of his hands against his hip and his back pack in the other. “I don’t wanna fucking talk about it…!” Bucky snapped. He slammed his door shut and avoided looking at Steve.

It made Steve worry. “Bucky…! Hey…!” Steve caught up to him and grabbed his arm. Bucky slipped his arm out, but left his hand in Steve's and pulled him into an empty room. He let go of Steve’s hand and leaned against a table.

“Bucky what happened…?!” Steve knew it was serious. He only did this when someone insulted someone he loved or when he got into a really bad fight with his dad. “Bucky…?” He said again and cautiously walked over to him. His voice was calm and soft which made Bucky feel safe.

Bucky took his hat and his hood off. His right eye was bruised and his lip was split. “He yelled at me for being at yours again…” He said. His dad always thought the worst of Steve. He wasn't even home when he got back but some how he always knew where Bucky was.

He likes Sarah and Steve’s dad when he was alive but he wasn’t exactly fond of Steve anymore. “He said you were a faggot and I yelled at him and then he hit me a-and-” Steve cut him off with a hug. “It’s okay.”  Bucky turned a light red. He hugged him tightly back. He didn’t want to cry but he started to. “You’re sleeping over mine tonight…” Steve ordered.  The bruised brunette wanted to protest but didn’t. He knew his mother would tell him too. The bell to start the classes went off. They had English next. They both had gotten to school after their home study.

Bucky and Steve reluctantly parted their hug. Bucky wiped his face and pulled his hood back up, pushing his bangs in his face. He walks out with Steve as Rumlow and his friends walk down the hall, pushing people out the way. Rumlow purposely bumps into Bucky. “Watch it Faggot!” He said, looking at him as he walked off with his friends.

“Douche bags..!” Steve muttered. He watched him go and hit on Sharon Carter who slapped him and walked off. Steve smiled. He’s always had a crush on her because she didn’t take shit from anyone. Steve and Bucky walked into the class and to their seats. Natasha was sitting with Clint and they both watched Bucky as he walked past them and sat down.

“What. Happened…?” Nat asked, leaning on Bucky’s table. Bucky sunk in his seat. “I’ll tell you later…” Steve said, sitting next to Bucky. He didn’t want her annoying him now. He took his laptop out and Bucky did the same so he could hide behind it. The lesson seemed to drag on forever and somehow, when Steve was reading out a page in his book, Bucky found himself just staring at him and going into a daze.

He couldn’t stop thinking of those lips kissing him and the way he’d fuck him and- “Mr. Barnes.” His teacher said. He snapped out of it and looked over at him. His teacher was nice. He was also the councillor and liked to talk to students.

“What…?” Bucky asked. His teacher repeated himself with a slight smile. “Can you please read out the next page?” Mr Coulson, or Coulson as most people called him, repeated. He stood up and read his page. Everyone saw his face. Everyone saw the cut on his left cheek, his red and purple bruised eye and his split lip because of the way the sun hit his face. Steve looked at him, blushing a little because he looked amazing in the sun.

Everyone assumed he had gotten into another fight, which was partly true. The bell rang just as he finished the page. “I want everyone to finish the next chapter by tomorrow!” He said as the students hurried out to lunch. “Mr Barnes. I’d like to talk to you please…” He said, just as Bucky was going to sneak out the door. _He always knows!_ He thought.

Bucky turned around on his heels. “I’ll be by my locker kay…?” Steve said, getting a nod from Bucky as a reply. He waited with Clint and Nat by his locker.

“What happened now…?” Coulson asked straight up. Bucky didn’t want to answer. “Bucky...” Coulson looked down and under his hood. “Someone insulted my family okay… I hit him and he hit me back, no big deal….” He said, zoning out.  “Who…?” Coulson tried to get more out of him. “Just some guy…!” Bucky snapped. He hated his dad but he didn’t want to be that much of an asshole to him.

“Right… Well what did this person say…?” He wanted to know so he could write it down. Bucky has a whole file in Phil’s filing cabinet. He’s been in a LOT of fights. “He said that Steve was a faggot….” Bucky classified Steve as a family. He didn’t bother hiding the person either because Coulson ‘see’s all!’ as Nat puts it. Phil nodded.

He understood why Bucky would do it because he’s the only one who knows Bucky’s gay. Apart from his mother, who knew because mother’s always know. “If you need to talk, I’m here….” Coulson said. Bucky just nodded and walked out to meet up with Steve and the others.

They all walked out to the seats under a tree. Clint and Nat sat together, leaning against the tree whilst Bucky and Steve sat around on the seats. Bucky sat on the table with his feet on the bench seat. Steve sat there drawing in his book like he usually does. It was a nice day so he was sketching Nat and Clint sitting there.

“What you drawing there Mozart…?” Clint asked.  Steve smiled. “First of all, Mozart was a pianist, not an artist… Second of all, none of your business…!” He said. Bucky peeked over his shoulder and looked at it. “Woah! Steve, you horny bastard! Stop drawing people fucking.” Bucky teased. At this point, Steve was pushing him away, and accidently off of the table. “Jerk!” He said to his best friend, who casually made it as if he was meant to fall off of the table.

“That is really nice ya’know..” A familiar voice said behind the blonde. He looked over and smiled. He got down and hugged Sam. “I didn’t think you were coming back..!” Steve said. He, Bucky, Sam, Nat and Clint were in the same classes together in middle school. “Can’t get rid of me that easily...!” Sam smiled. Nat and Clint smiled. “So it seems…” Nat said. Sam walked over to Bucky, who was wiggling his hand around like he was a little kid waiting for his parent to pick him up. “Aww. Does baby need help...?” Sam put on a fishy face and a baby voice.

He couldn’t help but to smile. “Yeah, yeah. Just help me up bro..!” Bucky said. He was kinda glad that Sam didn’t ask him about his face. I think he just knew what happened. Sam grabbed his hand and walked backwards, pulling him up. “God your heavy..!” He teased. “You’re just weak..!” Bucky retaliated and hugged him. Bucky met Sam in math class in middle school.

Clint and Nat met him in English and Steve met Sam in P.E. Though, Steve wasn’t really allowed to do a lot back then because of his health problems. “What you guys got next...?” Sam asked. “PE.” Steve and Bucky replied simultaneously. Nat had English and Clint had History. The bell rang and Sam walked with Steve and Bucky to PE because he also had it.

The lesson started off with tennis. Steve had to use his inhaler once. Just because he didn’t have that many health problems these days, doesn’t mean he out grew his asthma. “Alright, before we go, tomorrow, there will be a physical exam!” The teacher said. The class groaned. Steve couldn’t help but to stare at Bucky’s ass a little because the shorts he wears show his ass off perfectly.

He’s pretty sure Bucky stares at his ass too. He knows his shorts are small; he just hasn’t had time to buy new ones. “Those who come will get a free pass. The free pass will let you skip out on a sport you are uninterested in!” His teacher said. He made a deal with the principal because he knew barely anyone would turn up. He dismissed the class and the three got changed then headed home.


	3. Confessions of a horny bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have Physical Exams and lets just say things get heated.

Bucky and Sam headed back to Steve’s. “My mom probably knows you’re here. If anything she went onto Facebook and saw that she changed locations again.” Steve knew Sam’s mom liked checking in on Facebook. Everywhere she went with Sam and his dad they’d be tagged in something. Steve remembered when they went to Disneyland. Steve was so jealous but he knew that they couldn’t afford to go and it made Sara feel awful when she couldn’t give him things.

Sam and Bucky stayed over for a while. “So why are you back...?” Bucky asked curiously as Sara walked through the door and breathed out. She stood there with her bag in her hand. “Hi mom..!” Steve said, making her a coffee. She smiled and kissed Sam’s cheek then Steve’s and Bucky’s.

“Hello boys. Nice to see you again Sam.” She smiled, sipping her coffee and leaned against the table. “Nice to see you too Sara.” He smiled back at her. “I’m gonna go shower then lie down. You boys keep it down and YOU Mr. Barnes don’t swear..!” She warned him.

She grabbed his chin and made him look at her. “And stop fighting..!” She kissed his forehead then walked upstairs. Bucky gave a weird look as he turned back to Steve, who was making something for them to eat.

“So...?” Bucky persisted. Steve turned to them. “Bucky, if he doesn’t want to say, he doesn’t have to...” Steve put the macaroni in bowls. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t curious but he didn’t like pushing Sam.

“Uhh...” Sam started. It turned into a chuckle. “My dad died...” He breathed out deeply. Steve and Bucky looked at each other and then at Sam. “Sorry... I didn’t mean to push you into saying...” The brunette apologised.

Sam just looked at the bowl of macaroni in front of him and shrugged a little. “I’m not over it... It happened six months ago and I’m not over it...!” Sam said. Steve put his hand on Sam’s balled fist. “It gets easier... I promise...” The blonde said. Steve knows what it’s like to lose his dad. He felt torn up inside because both he and Bucky were best friends with Sam’s dad.

“How about we eat macaroni, then we can go shoot some scrubs on COD or you can own our asses on Mario Kart 8 or somethin’..?” Steve smirked a little. He knew something like that cheered him up. “Well... I haven’t kicked your asses for a long time so... I guess I could.” A smile rolled across Sam’s lips. Steve started eating his macaroni and smiled.

Ten minutes later they were playing Mario Kart. Once again, Sam was “that guy” who picked the Special Cup. Why he picked Special Cup? Because Rainbow Road. “Oh come on!” Bucky yelled a little too loud. He fell off the bridge.... AGAIN...! “Shut up punk, my mom’s sleeping..!” Steve said, passing Sam again. “She had an all-nighter again..!”

Sam was rusty at this but Steve had a lot of time to play this. “Did you just pass me?!” Sam protested loudly too. “Yes, now keep it down..!” The blue eyed teen said. “You guys excited about the physical exam tomorrow...?” Sam asked. “The what?!” Steve and Bucky said at the same time. Steve paused the game and Sam looked at them, laughing a little.

“There’s a physical exam tomorrow. It’s just if you pay attention in class and clearly neither of you do...” Sam smirked. “We pay attention... We just didn't pay a lot of attention...” Steve said, blushing slightly. Bucky groaned. He hated physical exams.

Sam’s phone went off and he took it out. “I better get going... Mom wants me home.” The three stood up and walked downstairs, Bucky’s footsteps louder than Steve and Sam’s. They said goodbye to Sam and watched him walk down the street. “I think I should get going too..” Bucky admitted. He didn’t want to go but knew his mom would have a fit.

“Okay.. You ditching tomorrow? Or will I see you there?” Steve asked. He really wanted to see Bucky in his P.E Uniform again. Bucky sighed deeply at Steve’s question. “Yeah.. I should go.. It counts to our grade now..” Bucky looked at him. H

e couldn’t help but to laugh. Both of them knew Bucky never really cared about his grades. Unless it was Baseball or designing buildings. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Steve gave him that stupid smile. “Yeah...” Bucky couldn’t help but to hug him. Steve wasn’t the only one that wanted to see someone in their P.E uniform. Steve’s shorts were small for him. “Catch ya later.” Bucky said, putting his hood up then shoved his balled hands in his jacket pocket.

* * *

The next day, Bucky, Steve and Sam were in P.E. Bucky was lying on the floor panting. “I hate.... Physical... Exams!” By this point in the lesson, Bucky and Steve had finished everything and were waiting on Sam and Natasha. Natasha was in the girl's gymnastics team and they had to do it with the PE class.

Bucky’s hair was a mess. Even if Nat tied it up for him, it was a complete mess from running around the gym. Steve, who was used to all of this, just casually sat next to him, sipping on his water bottle. “Maybe you should ACTUALLY do something...” Steve said. He knew Bucky took his anger out on a punching bag. It’s how they both got into boxing. “Hey..! I do stuff...” Bucky panted in protest. “Yeah, you box but don’t run.” Sam said, sitting down. It was almost summer break so the day was hot.

“I never want to run track on a day like this again!” He added, grabbing his bottle and taking a large drink out of it. Steve watched the others around them. Rumlow was showing off in front of Sharon and Natasha who were just casually talking and doing their own thing. “Rogers, Barnes. Go pack the mats..!” Their teacher yelled. Bucky groaned. “On it sir..!” Steve shouted slightly back.

“C’mon Buck.” He hit his feet. Bucky fell onto the floor sideways. He looked up and watched Steve walk away, biting his lip and letting it slip out between his teeth. _You gotta tell him sometime_ he told himself. For some reason it came out in Natasha’s voice. Tasha and Clint new he was gay and he was planning on telling Sam. But for some reason it was so hard to tell Steve... 

_“You’re a slut for Doritos.” Clint joked when Bucky said something to them. He said that out to try and cheer him up because he was crying. Nat gave him a look. “What?! His body ratio is like a Dorito okay...?”  Bucky couldn’t help but to smile at that. It was true. He would do anything for Steve._

“Bucky! C’mon!” Steve yelled. The brunette snapped out of his daze and got up, following behind him. The mats weren’t that heavy but they were very large because the Gymnastics team used them. 

It took Steve and Bucky until the end of the lesson to pack them away. The whole time Bucky and Steve kept secretly taking peeks at each other. Whether it was Bucky looking at Steve’s ass in those tight short shorts or even Steve staring at Bucky when his shirt rose up to show his abs and some secret tattoos only he knew about. Steve and Bucky stacked the last mat up on the pile. They were both exhausted.

“You coming over tonight?” Steve asked, tidying up some equipment they accidently knocked over. “Is that okay...? I feel as if I’m annoying you and Sara...” Bucky picked something up off the floor, forgetting he put it there to keep the door open. “No it’s fine. You’re not annoying us. I like having you over-” The blue eyed boy was interrupted by the door slamming shut. “Fuck! I knew that was there for something..!” Bucky panicked a little.

He didn’t really like being locked in a room on a hot day. His dad did it once and he had to go to hospital for dehydration. “Hey! Someone let us out..!” Bucky shouted, hitting on the door. No one heard them because everyone was still loud. Bucky walked back and leaned on the mats.

“It’s okay. Someone will find us.” Steve reassured him. Bucky knew he was going to be okay with Steve.  The blonde pushed some of Bucky’s long brown hair out the way and it made him blush a little. Bucky looked up at him and started thinking of all the things he’d do in this room if he could just have Steve. “Bucky..?” Steve caught his attention. He felt a little sick asking him. “Would you.... _Care_ if I was gay...?” Bucky’s jaw dropped a little. He stared at him for a little bit.

He licked his lips and shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t... You’re my best friend no matter what..” Bucky smiled softly at him. Steve sat down next to him, nodding. There was a long silence. “Would.... Would you care if I was...?” Bucky asked. They were learning more about this in Sex Ed so he hoped this was a normal thing to ask. Bucky kept his eyes on the floor. He wiped his eyes because he was scared Steve would reject him. Steve reached over and held his hand.

“Are you...?” He could see straight through Bucky. Every time they went to the beach in summer, he’d secretly catch Bucky looking at guys walking past every now and again. “You hate me... Don’t you...?” He tried his hardest not to start crying. “No, Bucky I don’t hate you. I don’t care if you are but you know you don’t have to hide it from me.” Steve’s voice went soft like Sara’s would when they’d get into trouble.

Steve ran his thumb over the back of his hand. “I’m scared to tell my mom because I know my dad would find out.” He sniffed, starting to cry softly. “Rikki knows. She’s always known. She’s never cared either...” Bucky breathed shakily.

“He won’t find out. And if he does, I won’t let him hurt you.” By this point in the conversation, Steve stood up and crouched down in front of him. Bucky looked at him, calming down. Steve stood up and hugged him. He let go when the door opened. “There you are.” Sam said. “Thought you two left.” Sam saw how Bucky was. He just said he’d explain later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's my Birthday today.  
> I also finally finished the chapter...  
> Sorry. I've been mega busy with school Y~Y  
> Also, that whole 'Facebook check in' thing... Yeah my mother does that all the time xD
> 
> Edit: I've been going through the chapters and making it easier to read... Because idek what I was thinking and my style's changed. Also I'm not sure if it would be a physical exam or like an athletic trials thingie..???? idk. Sports Royal? Oh well hope you enjoy it.


	4. Good things can happen. But so can the bad.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THEY CONFESS!! But will it work out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES I AM ALIVE!  
> Last year I was super busy as in, Senior Year busy.... That and I got out of writing but now I'm back YAY! (Also sorry if this is short :I )

They hit the showers and then at recess, sitting under the tree, Bucky came clean to Sam, Nat and Clint. “Wow... How’d you figure that out?” Clint asked. He was just curious.

Bucky hesitated to say but all he said was ‘a guy I met’ which was a good enough explanation for him. Nat smiled softly but lovingly at him.

“We’re proud of you Bucky.” She put a hand on his and ran her thumb back and forth on the back of his hand. Steve felt a little sad when he told them. He didn’t have the guts to say anything about him being gay. So the blonde just sat there, comforting his best friend.

“Got a pant busting crush on anyone?” Sam teased. It made Bucky turn red which made the four laugh.  
“Not yet...” The bell went for the next class. Steve and Bucky walked to their lockers. “What you got next?”Bucky leaned against a locker as Steve opened his. Steve kept glancing at Bucky as he fiddled with his jacket.

“Free. You..?” Steve said. Bucky looked up at him. “Wanna ditch?” Bucky had Math but everyone knows he doesn’t show. “Sure.” Steve and Bucky bee lined for the doors.

Sharon Carter, officially former long-time crush of Steve’s, saw them walk out. She thought it was odd that Bucky and Steve were ditching together because Steve would always wait for Bucky after school. She had always had her suspicions about them.

Steve and Bucky walked to Steve’s car. “Can we get something to eat? I forgot to bring money and the bread was stale as all shit.” Bucky had his hoodie up and his hands shoved in his pockets. Steve gave Bucky a look then sighed. He hated it when Bucky didn’t eat all day. “Guess I’m buying?” Steve joked.

He got in his car and started it, waiting for Bucky to buckle up. “Where too?” Steve smiled and Bucky smiled back. “Taco bell?” The happy man said. His smile faltered a little at the sight of Rumlow heading their way.

“Shit….” Steve had looked over. He started the car and backed out just as he threw his drink at them, yelling “faggots” at them as they drove off. Steve breathed out.

“Fuck…. He knows. Fucking hell..!” Bucky said freaking out a little in a whisper. “It’s okay… I told you he won’t hurt you…” Steve firmly but softly said. He glanced at Bucky as they drove to the nearest place.

“I’m scared Steve…” Bucky’s voice was shaky. "If Rumlow knows then Dad will know..!" Bucky's dad worked with Rumlow's. The blonde thought he was having a panic attack and told him to breathe.

“I know you're scared… but I’m not letting him hurt you.” Steve had pulled over. Bucky never answered. Steve didn’t know what to do. He knew Bucky needed to talk about this. “Let’s go back to mine. I’ll get you something there okay?” He got a nod out of the terrified brunette.

“Why? Why do you say that… You know he will…” Bucky had sunk in the seat lower, hiding his face in his hands. “If he finds out he’ll fucking kill me!” He couldn’t stop crying.

Steve was quiet for a little bit, his hands grinding against the steering wheel. “Because… Because I love you Bucky…” His voice was soft but loud enough to hear him. Bucky was stunned. He looked at Steve from the passenger seat and bit his lip.

“I love you too…” Bucky smiled but still cried but he was happy to know the feeling was mutual.

He was a little shocked, and Steve was happy and shocked at Bucky's reply. After sitting in a traffic jam, Bucky eventually calmed down and was smiling as they talked about it.

Things were awkward between Steve and Bucky in the car as they made their way back to Steve’s after that. Long silences in between the small talk, the pair being relieved about telling each other how they felt. But it seemed normal. Steve kept a hand on the wheel as he fiddled with the radio.

“Dude, eyes on the road and hands at two and ten..!” Bucky said, swatting his hand away from the radio, chuckling a little. “What are you? My father?” Steve smirked. “Just… Keep driving punk.” Steve’s phone went off and Bucky answered it.

“Steve’s phone, Bucky speaking…… Yes.. Okay we’ll be right there, thank you.” Bucky hung up and looked at Steve who was slightly freaking out. He knew that it was about his mother so they headed to the hospital where she worked. “I thought that was over..” Bucky said. He was a little shocked.

“It never went away….” Steve’s voice was a little shaky. All he wanted was to get to the hospital now. Bucky put a hand on his knee. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out like last time.” Bucky reassured him, but Steve knew it was going to be bad this time around.


	5. The truth comes out eventually

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara's sick again and Bucky finally tells his parents. Let's say things get messy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day?! Wow this is cool (It's the 22nd of March in Australia.. Yes I am indeed a time traveler but it won't lemme make it that -_-) XD 
> 
> Also these last two chapters are ridiculously short (Sorry) and my style has changed since last year...

They got to the hospital and was freaking out. He looked around for one of her friends who showed them to Sara. “Mom…?” Steve was pretty much in tears by now. Sara had an ice pack on her forehead. She smiled at them and held her hand out for Steve to take.

“Are you okay Sara?” Bucky looked at her, worried. He probably wasn’t as scared or freaked out as Steve but he was worried because she was like a second mother to him.

“I’m okay. Just pushing myself too hard.” Sara groaned a little. She must’ve been working for the last few days without sleep. She always pushes herself too hard.

There was a time that they remember when she had little money. It was after Steve’s dad died and they had to pay off a lot of things. Sara worked herself so hard she got sick and no matter what they did, it would always come back. At one point it was so bad she was hospitalized for months.

“Please don’t let it be as bad as last time…” Steve begged in a whisper. Bucky put a hand on Steve’s shoulder.  
“James Barnes did you get into another fight…?” Sara teased a little, seeing the bruise on his cheek and the split lip. She always did.

“With dad…. I’m guessing what he said about you is actually true. hey Steve?” Bucky smirked which made Sara’s heart melt and warm up at the same time.

“I assume you told him..?” Sara softly said with a smile. The blonde’s pale face heated up. “I’m very proud.” She smiled.

“Me too…..” Bucky smiled. "I uh.... I'm gay too.... So there's that.." He forgot he never told her.

The two helped her out and to Steve’s car. One of her friend’s was going to drive Sara’s car home after her shift. Bucky ran home first to get a bag. He told them about Sara and almost, once again got into a fight with his father.

* * *

 “You’re not staying there tonight!” He yelled at him. “Sara’s sick again and you don’t want me to comfort Steve, or let mom help her? You truly are an asshole!” Bucky, once again rebelling against his father shouted, scaring the shit out of Rikki.

“You and that faggot-” Bucky cut his father off with a punch to his face. “You EVER say that about him again I will Kill you!” Bucky screamed at him. Rikki begged them to stop but his father just pushed into something. This whole situation was messy.

“You say i’m a delinquent but it’s because of _you_  that i am like this. You make us ALL feel unsafe and more importantly I know you’ll never accept me for more than one reason! If only you knew that I’m _Gay_ … _Oh wait_. Now you do you _asshole_!” Bucky was slapped across the face so hard he almost fell over. He started tearing up mostly because he finally told them and it hurt to be slapped so hard.

“Get. Out! No son of mine will be a faggot..!” His father scolded and yelled. He wanted to say goodbye to his mother but she was at the stair well with a bag in her hand. “No George… You leave.” She dropped the bag on the ground at her feet and crossed her arms.

“Bucky take Rikki to Sara’s… Come back in the morning okay?” Bucky hugged her and kissed her cheek. Winifred whispered that she was proud of him.

Bucky walked to Steve's house and only spent the night there. He slept with Rikki in Steve's bed. When ever Sara or Steve got sick they'd sleep with each other. He knew Steve was freaking the hell out. He knew that Steve would worry day and Night over her.

And he did. Steve barely slept because he was up crying most of the night. "Steve?" Bucky's voice was quiet. He had gotten up to get a drink but found Steve in the darkness that was their first floor. He was hunched over in the arm chair.

The blonde looked up at Bucky. Eyes glazed over with tears and the light from outside reflecting off of them. Bucky thought he looked beautiful despite everything. Steve didn't say anything. He didn't have to because Bucky knew what he was thinking. He walked over to Steve and squeezed himself between the arms of the chair and his beautifully thick thighs.

"It's goin' to be okay..." Bucky mumbled softly to him. He had his palms on his cheeks which were damp from the tears and made him look into Bucky's beautiful blue eyes. He wiped them away with his thumbs and Steve couldn't help but to get lost in the eyes that were his best friends and hopefully his lover's. "I'm scared..." He managed to croak out. He leaned his head into Bucky's chest and hugged his head, kissing it softly. 

"Me too babe..." Bucky whispered out. 'Babe'... A word he only called Steve in his dreams and guilty pleasures. Saying it out loud made them both happy. In the end they both fell asleep on the sofa. Bucky cuddling Steve, close, tight and loving.


	6. Everything will be Okay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In where Steve is an emotional wreck and they finally kiss.
> 
> WARNING: This chapter is very depressing and may be triggering in some way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SLOOOOOOOOOWWWWLLLLLYYYY Writing this but I intend to finish this at some point in time! I also have another one in the works.

Bucky and Rikki ended up staying there for longer than expected. Steve told Sara that he was gay or at least bisexual. He wasn’t sure yet but it made her smile and tear up for the first time in a long time. The last time it happened was when Steve tried to cook and do things Sara would when their father died.

Unfortunately, Sara didn’t get any better. In fact she just got worse and was emitted to the hospital for what feels like the one billionth time but was really somewhere around the fifth or sixth time.

Steve was so scared that he’d lose her that he kept skipping school just to be with her. Eventually the school was notified about his situation and said he can take as much time off as the school will let him. Steve still went occasionally but just for Bucky and his art classes.

“I wonder if Steve’s okay…” Sam wondered at Lunch. It went from being the five of them to the four. “He’ll be okay…” Nat reassured. Bucky knew he wouldn’t. He wasn’t.

Bucky had caught him countless times in his house, crying. Wondering how he’d pay for all of this. It hurt Bucky’s heart to think about it that he ditched the rest of school that day.

He texted Steve to ask where he was but he never replied. They were both in a good place and then this happened. Bucky’s phone buzzed on his way home. He picked it up to Steve.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bucky asked. There was a long silence. Steve didn’t know how to say this to him because they were family. “Steve?” Bucky had gotten to his door, unlocked it and walked in by the time Steve replied “She’s gone… She’s fucking gone Bucky…”

Steve broke down on the other end. Bucky’s heart sunk. Rebecca and his mother stared at him, eyes red from the news they got from Steve minutes before, as the brunette cried himself.

Steve was curled up against the wall in private room. Bucky’s voice shook as he asked how. Steve choked on his words. His knees were up against his chest, his right arm holding his phone to his ear, resting on his knee to keep it steady but not working, his left in his hair.

“She didn’t respond to the medicine…” His voice cracked. Bucky walked down stairs into his room to be away from them. He needed space. There was a long pause. How could they keep a normal conversation up when this just happened?

Bucky had no idea what to say. He sat there with his head against the wall. "Fuck..." He softly whispered.

“I’m so sorry……” It was the only thing that came out of Bucky’s mouth. He slid down a wall that had a bunch of pictures on it. He heard Steve sobbing which broke his heart and made him cry.

“How’s Bec and your mom..?” Steve, who’s sitting alone in a dark room, had just lost his mom, is an emotional wreck right now, asking about Bucky’s family.

“Mom’s not taking it well… Bec better than I thought….” The brunette could barely keep it together himself.

“And you?” Steve asked like they were the one’s effected.  “A mess… Like you..” Bucky smiled a little. He breathed out and there was another pause. They knew one day this would probably happen. Maybe when she was older, like in her 70s or 80’s not in her late 30’s early 40’s.

“I love you Buck…” Steve manage to croak out. Bucky sat there in silence for a second. He smiled a little. “I love you too…” Bucky replied.

* * *

 

There were a lot of people at the funeral. Sara’s work friends. Bucky and his family. Nat and Clint. Sam and his mom… Steve. It was a beautiful day, which were Sara’s favourite days.

Steve couldn’t stop himself from crying. He felt alone. Bucky held his hand. Neither of them cared any more. Steve gripped his hand tightly, as if he lets go, Bucky will disappear. Bucky wouldn’t let that happen.

When it was over there was a gathering at Bucky’s house. Winnifred wanted to give Steve a ride but he was nowhere to be seen. Bucky made his way to Steve’s house after everyone left.

 “Steve?” Bucky said from the bottom of the stairs. He climbed up them and found him being depressing in Sara’s room. He was already packing her stuff and it wasn’t even 3 weeks after.

Steve didn’t look at him. He was holding a cardigan he brought for her when he was younger. He was sitting on the floor, his shirt unbuttoned half way down his chest and his tie undone. “We tried to find you after… Mom wanted to give you a lift back…” Bucky sat on the floor in front of him.

Bucky got a little angry at him. “Fucking, stop it Steve!” Bucky’s voice raised a little. “I understand you hurt but it’s been less than three fucking weeks and you’re already packing her shit! You don’t need to..!” He calmed down when he realised that they both had started crying again.

Steve still didn’t say anything. Bucky looked away and got up. “I’ll be at home if you need me… Mom said… Mom said she’s going to come over later to make sure you’re okay…” He started walking out. Steve felt even worse for not saying anything. He didn’t know what to do.

In the end Steve got up and went after Bucky. He grabbed his arm and pushed him against the wall, kissing him. Bucky was a little shocked by this. He didn’t stand there with his eyes open however they were closed. The brunette put his hands on Steve’s face, kissing him more and more as Steve dragged Bucky into him.

Soon Steve just sunk. His head on Bucky’s shoulder, sobbing into it. Bucky held him and rubbed the back of his neck soothingly. “Shhh…. I’m sorry Stevie…” Steve shook his head on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what to do…. I always did know what to do but…” Steve hated thinking of it but it was true. He always confided in his mother and he doesn’t really know who to turn to now.

“I know… But we just said goodbye.. You don’t need to rush it..” Bucky’s voice was just as soft as Steve’s and Sara’s when they talked to you about serious things. Steve couldn’t help but to think of his mom.

“Go sit down in your room okay? I’ll unpack her stuff, and we’ll get to it later.” Bucky was staying strong for him. He wanted to be like Steve and just cry endlessly but knew one of them needed to be okay and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be Steve. Not now.

Steve complied and walked to his room. He sat at the foot of it and slowly calmed down as Bucky put Sara’s things back in the wardrobe. He closed the door and heard Steve coughing and slightly wheezing. “Steve?” He looked into his room. Steve threw his head back onto the mattress behind him. Bucky walked in and kneeled between Steve’s legs. “You okay now?” Bucky held his inhaler out but the blonde shook his head.

“I’m okay now..” Steve looked at him. Bucky was a little closer than he thought he was and he smiled softly. “Sorry…” Steve said. “I didn’t have my head on straight…” Steve’s voice was husky from the crying. Bucky just smiled and kissed him softly.

“Good…. I thought you’d be apologising about the kiss…” Bucky said.  “I’m not sorry about that… She actually wanted me too…” Steve added. Bucky slept there that night. He knew they’d have to figure something out. But the question is what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psh... Well yeah no this was depressing as hell. I almost cried writing this...
> 
> I'm sorry I feel as if this chapter's V triggering in terms of being depressing and having a death so I'm sorry if I caused people to cry T~T


	7. Summer Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rumlow fucks with a sensitive Steve... It doesn't go well...  
> Also Steve is an emotional wreck.  
> And Bucky obviously falls harder for Steve (Just never pointed out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pumpin' out the chapterssss!!
> 
> Also this one is Angry!Steeb. Watch out y'all.

The will was read out about five weeks later, just before summer break. It turns out Steve inherited enough money to buy himself a whole apartment block (over exaggerated by Rikki). About one-fourth of the money went to Winifred for all the money she loaned Sara after Steve’s dad died. Winifred then split that in half and gave it back to Steve. She said “Having a friend like Sara, is priceless.” Which made Steve cry… Again.

Bucky had also moved in with Steve and offered to help pay for the bills. Bucky had a gotten a job. Mostly because he wanted one. At the moment he was interning at a garage.

Not only did he inherit the house but they also inherited a cabin on a lake. “You have a cabin? On a lake?” Sam questioned. “It was my dad’s… My mom told me she sold it.” Steve was out at lunch with the others. It was the last day of school for the summer.

“Friend Zone it. Of course not this summer… Maybe next spring break?” Nat said. Sam raised an eye brow. “Friend Zone?” He then questioned. “Yeah. It’s where it’s friend’s only, no one else. We went to my dad’s beach house last year.” Clint added. Bucky walked over. He and Steve have been going at a steady pace.

“Beach house? Wait are we gonna friend zone again because if so, I say we go to the beach house again.” Bucky loves the beach.

“Sorry to burst your bubble but I can’t. I’m going back to DC with mom to see family. My cousin’s turning 16 and I have another one getting married.” Sam said. Steve smiled briefly and told him to say congrats. He’s met the cousin turning 16. “Have fun.” Nat smiled at Sam. “Also get laid bro.” Clint added. Nat elbowed him in the side. “Couple’s get away?” Sam joked. But it wasn’t a bad idea in Steve’s head. The end of the day rolled around and the group said their goodbyes.

“Hey guess what?” Bucky said, walking to Steve’s car. Steve looked at him. “Mack, the head mechanic, said he’s gonna get me a trainee ship at the garage. Then he’ll teach me to be a mechanic.” The joy in Bucky’s eyes was beautiful. Steve grinned. “Bucky that’s awesome!” Steve was trying so hard to be himself, but it wasn’t really working. Coulson said that I time, he’s going to be okay and be himself again. But in time.

The pair stopped at Steve’s car. It had ‘FAGS’ written all over it in spray paint. Bucky growled. “I’m soooo gonna fucking kill him!” Before he did something stupid Steve grabbed his arm. “Not worth it Buck…. Please…” Bucky could still see the pain in his eyes.

The brunette sighed. “Okay… Let me see if they fucked with the engine again.” Steve opened up the hood of the car so Bucky can see. Bucky leaned over the car, being careful not to hit his head. Steve stood there staring at his ass. Somehow Bucky made his life like before. And it’s not a bad thing. “Engine seems good. Give it a go.” He dropped back onto his feet, only to be pulled back and onto the floor by Rumlow.

“Sup faggots.” He smirked and towered over Bucky. “Fuck off Rumlow.” Steve growled. This wasn’t like him and Rumlow with his ‘boys’ faced him. _Shit Stevie stop it!_ Was all went through Bucky’s head. “I’m assuming this defacement was your work?” He had enough of Rumlow’s shit right about now. “A little departing gift…” Rumlow smiled. Steve didn’t look too happy at all.

“First of all. Fuck you. Second of all, piss off and leave us alone. Third of all you sure you aren’t the gay one?” Steve fired back. Rumlow pushed him against his car and got up close and personal with him.

“Say that again… Orphan. And I’ll kick your ass..!” Brock stared into his eyes. Steve was too calm and collected for a moment like this. Bucky’s usually freaking out on the inside. Steve let a ‘humph’ noise out.

“Orphan…. Classy from the foster child.” Bucky’s eyes widened at Steve’s remark. Rumlow laughed and so did his boys. “You got guts kid…. I’ll give you that.” He slammed Steve up against the car and punched him in the face. “Never say that again!” He snarled.

“So why don’t you back the fuck off and leave us alone? Is it because we’re ‘easy targets’? Is it because I just LOST my MOTHER?! I am so sick of you hurting him. Hurting the hundred other kids you hurt in this school because we’re different you Fucking Asshole!” Steve lost it.

Bucky, still on his ass on the floor, propped up on his elbows, saw the man he loved finally lose it and let his anger out on Rumlow.

“You’re the one who’s Worthless, the one who should be picked on BECAUSE YOU JUST DON’T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT!” Steve shouted. Mr Coulson walked over after someone had gotten him. “What’s going on here?” He asked, calmly. Rumlow was going to bolt but Bucky spoke.

“Rumlow’s being a little shit again.” Bucky got up. By this time Steve had slid down his car and onto the floor. Coulson ordered the three boys to go to the principal and walked to Steve. “You okay there?” He asked. Steve stayed silent for a while. “…. This was my mom’s car…” His voice was small and soft.

Bucky and Coulson were pretty sure their hearts were torn out then and there. Steve spent the first few weeks sleeping in her bed, then her car. “Hey… We’ll take it to Mack okay? He’ll fix it up and make it new…” Bucky sat next to him.

“But I don’t want it new…” Steve’s voice was now in a whisper. Coulson smiled. “You know they won’t have to do a paint job… These days it just washes right off. And sure, he’ll do a service maybe but it’ll be the same.” Coulson always knew what to say to them. Bucky offered to drive home because “Yes… I do have a licence. I just don’t drive.” And so he did. He drove Steve to the garage he worked at.

“I thought he was gonna kill you…” Bucky stared at the road. It’s been a while since he’s driven. Steve stayed silent. “I thought you didn’t get your licence…” Steve eventually said. He couldn’t help but to smile because Bucky ultimately quit. “Yeah… Bec and Mom made me take it… Said I should at least know how to drive…” Bucky reached down and held his hand. "Also we should put some ice on your cheek before it gets any bigger..." Bucky said. He took his hand back to pull into the drive way.

“Hey Mack!” Bucky said after he got out the car. Steve stayed in it but eventually got out himself. “Who’s this?” Mack asked. Bucky looked at Steve and smiled. “My boyfriend…. Steve.” He grinned at Mack. He knew Bucky was gay.

“Hi.” Was all the blonde could muster out. “Woah… What happened to your car?” One of the other mechanics said. “An asshole named Brock Rumlow… And YES everyone did stare at us...” Bucky said. Steve got sad again which made Bucky frown. “The paint’s fairly we still… They used too much but we should be able to get it off.” Mack said, after investigating. It put a small smile on Steve’s face.

“Thank you. I think it’s due for a service too… Mom…. She really didn’t have time to take it in..” Steve’s voice got a little quiet when he said ‘mom’. _Shit Rogers! Get it together!_ He ordered himself. Bucky walked over and took Steve’s hand. He showed him around and eventually explained what happened to Mack. Mack knew all too well the pain Steve was feeling.

“Alright, we’re all done.” Mack cleaned his hands off. “She’s all serviced, washed and paint free.” He turned to Steve who was smiling like an idiot. “The paint wasn’t that hard to get off. We also gave her a touch up in places and a UV protect paint.” The other mechanic, who they found out was Mack’s brother, smiled.

“How much is-” Steve started but Mack protested. “No, no, no. James explained. No one needed this at a time such as this. I know the pain you’re feeling, we both do.” Mack smiled at him. “I feel like I’d be cheating you.” Steve frowned a little. “How about this. Keep this idiot in check and make him happy. He’s a good kid… Do that and we’re square until next time.” Mack had softly spoke to him. Steve looked over at Bucky. “Deal.” Steve said, looking at Mack. He sure did love Bucky.


End file.
